Thursday, August 19, 2010

Any tips/advice on how to put the past behind and move forward?

I'm just going to start off and say that I love my girlfriend and I know she loves me. Getting right to the point, I know this is stupid and it doesn't matter because we are here in the now and not the past, but for some reason I can't shake images of her in her past relationship. She's still a virgin, but she had performed oral sex on her prior boyfriend. Just to even find a virgin in today's society is a rare thing, so don't think I'm not grateful. I'm far from perfect myself...as for me, I'm not a virgin, and I truly wish I would have waited because she is so special to me. I know it sounds like double-standards and I apologize for that. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and could offer anything to the table. Again, I love her with all of my heart and this would never change that - I just would like to better myself for the both of us, to not dwell on insignificant things, and just look forward to a happy future with her - thanks in advanceAny tips/advice on how to put the past behind and move forward?
I will be straight with you on this, and I have a feeling you are not going to like my answer. It doesn't just sound like a double standard, it is a double standard. You seem to think being sorry about your own past is enough. Why are you expecting something more out of her? You're somehow allowing yourself to see your own past sexual needs/desires as more important and acceptable than hers, and that's just plain selfish.





I don't get the impression that you love her with all your heart. If you did, this would not be an issue. You seem to have conditional love for her, the condition being that you would prefer her to have no sexual experience. Just keep in mind that her past is with her forever. You are not fully accepting of her until you accept her past. If you can't accept her fully for who she is, then it is best to let her go,so she can find someone to love her unconditionally. It's what she deserves.Any tips/advice on how to put the past behind and move forward?
It sounds like you think she is to good for you and you are trying to find something to bring her down to your level. If she is with you and loves you then you are your at her level. Woman that hold them self up high enough where the hold off having sex won't settle so just remember that. If you weren't what she wanted you wouldn't have here.


And or think about it this way....it was just practice so that she can give you really good oral sex.
I would say the problem is that you're very insecure. You need to be careful not to overwhelm her by always needing her to let you know over and over and over again that she loves you. Loving her and respecting her is great, but if you are going to dwell on this, you're going to slowly but surely put up walls between the two of you. You are going to have to learn to trust her and your relationship that you two are in love with each other. Just try to chill and let the relationship just happen.
this isn't an unusual problem. She had a life before you, get over it. You had a life before her, she's not obsessing over your past.





When you start to think about her and her ex, then distract yourself with something else. Don't entertain the fantasy or if you are going to insist on entertaining the fantasy, then replace this faceless ex with you.





If you find that you just can't get the image out of your head and you are going to hold it against her, then let her go.
the only thing you can do is know that since you arent perfect..neither is she..although i dont see anything wrong with what she did.


she is with you now..she had to go thru that relationship and experience to get where she is today


my only concern is why are you dwelling on this??


if u are not a virgin then there should be no problem


people do things in life they regret but they learn from them and its lessons in life that make ppl who they are today

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